The world is about to end
The world is about to end. And I have to finish writing this story because it feels as if it’s dripping out of my hands. If I go too slowly, thoughts get drained and swept out of sight. If I don’t write it down, I am afraid next generations won’t have as much luck as we have had.
I need to write it down. I will write it now.
So, guys, I saw a button.
Not any button.
A Don’t Push Me button.
That’s a special button. I saw it and I thought: fuck. I meant it as a real fuck fuck.
It was a total mess having had seen it. I mean, you see a button and you instantly want to push it. You see a Don’t Push Me button and you want to push it even more. All your thoughts from now on involve the Don’t Push Me button. You want to push it with your index finger. You want to push it with your middle finger. You want to push it with every fucking finger.
I don’t mean to be rude. But, guys. I would push that button with every part of my body that is slightly pointy and by that I mean a very special part of my body.
I would use my nose.
I have a big nose. It’s pointy. But the point is, I don’t need my pointy nose to push it. I just need to push it. I have to push the Don’t Push Me button.
Now you. What would you do. Not pushing the button equals pain. Not pushing the button annoys you. From now on, everything in your life happens around the Don’t Push Me button.
So you push it.
You push that button so it will stop torturing you. Because not pushing it feels just like that. It feels like a torture. Like dragging your nails out of your own skin. Like waking up every five minutes while you’re asleep. Like a song you love sang by a Smurf. Like an endless list of torturing things like this one.
Like if all of a sudden, I’d stop writing and we would not know what happens with that button.
I made my point.
But you want to know what happens next. So you keep reading. And you are able to go through all this pain because you are too curious and too excited to give up all the information you already crammed in your head.
You want to know what happens when a Don’t Push Me button is being pushed. But you are still not sure if that button is going to get pushed. So you keep reading. And you expect that when you turn the page, it’s not blank.
But since you are not reading any page, you stay confident.
And I assure you I am not bad. I am not evil. I am just tortured because I saw that button and I need to write this down before it is too late. Not pushing the button feels like an eternity. I lived a million years just watching a Don’t Push Me button not being pushed. Maybe trillion–I lost count.
So I pushed that button.
I had to.
I pushed a button because it said I mustn’t. So I pushed it.
I expected to feel great. But I didn’t.
I expected to forget about the button. But I didn’t.
Instead, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Partly because I didn’t feel great when I expected to feel fully satisfied having had pushed it. But, guys, the next thing that it said above the button was disturbing. Before I pushed the button, above it, it said Don’t Push Me in golden words. I thought they were imprinted in ink or something.
Well, they were not.
They moved into shapes. And those shapes formed words. And those words said whatever they wanted to say. So when I pushed it, the words changed. Slightly. And it said
THE WORLD ENDS IN ______
And a countdown kept counting down. It’s a countdown.
Guys. Guys, the world is about to end. And I made it happen.
And I am happy.
At first I felt sad. There was no one around who had witnessed what I had just done. It was disappointing. I made it happen. And no one saw it, so it’s like it never happened. That was sad.
But, I am happy.
Because, finally. I mean. It had to happen one day or another. And we all were starting to get tired about the world. You know. Wars. Global warming. Hunger. Trump. And puberty. I mean, poverty.
We all hate this. What’s the point on keep on faking it?
That’s why I am writing this down. So that next generations know what I did. I don’t know if this letter will make it. World ending could mean that everything vanishes. So this note will fade away. But since I put it on the Internet, maybe an alien will hack it. They are supposed to be smart or something.
I am only certain that I had to write it down so it does not drip out of my hands or I would die before witnessing how the world ends. And that would bother me even more than not having had pushed that button in the first place.