Don’t recommend anyone to be modest
"Self love is the starting point to personal growth of the person who feels the courage to take responsibility for their own existence" - Viktor Frankl
Self-esteem is a set of perceptions, thoughts and feelings directed toward ourselves, on our way of being and behaving. Whether it is in physical or psychological traits. In short, it is the evaluative perception of oneself.
With this post, I intend to defend the need for high self-esteem. Because far from being a bad thing, it will help you succeed in your future job. And if you’re an entrepreneur, in your own company.
That’s why if someone gives you as an advice “be modest”, don’t listen to them. Ignore that, and here’s why:
1. Humility and modesty are not the same.
In religious terms, men and women are used to exercise modesty in order to minimize our glory to maximize God’s glory. When we want to be the center instead of God, we’re being immodest. And that wouldn’t be appropriate…
Women remain associated with their bodies in ways that men are not. And as a result of this association, the identities of the women are linked only to their bodies while the identities of men are not.
Claiming that “modesty is sexy” is not the solution we are looking for. Because this is only aimed to women and in a long term, is affecting a whole generation of women who do not participate in class, because they’re ashamed of it.
Affects a whole generation of women who are not recognized by their own accomplishments, because they basically attribute their success to a favorable environment whilst men attribute their success to themselves, to their effort and personal intelligence.
Can you see the pattern?
Modesty doesn’t help women.
Instead, I would recommend everyone to be humble.
2. No one wants to hire an insecure person.
Think about it, which company would want a professional that has no self confidence?
The more we believe in ourselves, the more positive energy and perseverance we put into the challenges from the environment. This implies further success, which will lead to stronger self-esteem.
As a result of this vicious and powerful cycle, we become better professionals by enjoying what we’re doing. High self-esteem means having a greater commitment to the organization.
Yes, humility is a great characteristic for leaders. That’s why I can’t stress enough how important is not to confuse humility with modesty. We have to be modest to a certain extent. Not too much. Otherwise this would mean that we do not value ourselves with who we are.
We have to sell ourselves, because that’s how we build our personal brand. Being humble but with high self-esteem.
Referring to Myers Briggs test (I couldn’t resist not talking about it) the majority of women get an F in their personality-type acronym. This means that they care more about feelings than about ideas. Therefore, the majority of women do not care about being right, because they’d rather be liked than be right. Women want to be loved.
3. Work is better as a team.
There are a wide range of responsibilities in a team. Leaders must humbly accept that their prospects need to be extended by other team members. Again: humility. Not modesty.
I started writing this post with many doubts. Because I have been out of ideas for a week already (as you may have noticed from the last post). And so I was grumpy because of that. Until a friend gave me this very idea, “write a post on modesty.”
In recent conversations with him, I kept underestimating me. And he kept telling me to shut up, because I had a blog and I consistently write in it. And that I should write a post about this while I tried to uplift my spirits writing on modesty.
But guess what. I did not wanted to steal his idea. I’m not gonna take advantage of his humility. What’s more, this is my blog. And I should get my own ideas.
Because everything in this world is shaped to work as a team. And we don’t have to be proud all the time. Because two minds are way more productive than just one.
And because that’s how companies are created. With people who work in teams.
Featured image taken by Ingrid Ribas.