We have to choose where to be successful

We have to choose where to be successful

I’m in the public library because I needed a change of scenery. When something becomes a routine -like sitting on the same exact spot-, the inspiration evaporates and thoughts start bombarding your mind. Like, what’s for lunch? Is there cinnamon?

You’d get the cinnamon reference if you had lived with me. I put it in every dish. Even in coffee.

See. I continue writing thoroughly although these thoughts come in.

I don’t know if they are disturbing anymore. Maybe they’re part of the process.

At least today I am not writing in my PJ’s, because I am at the library. Public space policies and stuff, you know.

If you read until here, congrats. Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt, because this post is really worth it. (Is it?).

 

Like in meditation, I now try to keep my mind clear of any thought that may occur… but when the first thought comes in, I try to step back and analyze it…

Work.

I’m scared, because there’s lot of competence in the workplace. Specially in the sector I want to specialize in, technology and start-ups. There’s a lack of women in this sector. There’s even the saying of Valley Boys around Silicon Valley.

The majority of professionals are men. In other words, employees that get to higher positions or the ones that start up more companies are men.

We could attribute it to society’s fault, or to the investors, because they do not consider women as profitable as men. Now it’s when stereotypes kick in. If a women gets pregnant, there’s the maternity leave, and that sucks for HR recruiters.

That’s what it is. And I do not know to what extent it’s also women’s fault. We play the victim card.

There’s a widespread tendency to think that women, for a greater professional career success, must delay the age at which they become mothers, reaching the 35-36 years without having been pregnant and waiting a couple of years more to have their first child.

I disagree.

Not only because age increases the chances of disease problems for the child. But also because women are at their highest peak of their professional lives right before their 40s. Why have children at this precious stage of your career, then?

It’s pointless.

Everything is a trade-off in life. You have to give something up to become the best at something else.

You can’t expect to be the greatest dad in the world while having a successful professional career. Don’t lie to yourself. You have to make choices.

You either choose a brilliant professional career, or you take care of your kids.

That’s why, in many couples (or marriages), one of the two parents has to give their professional career up to take care of the kid, while accepting that the other parent is the breadwinner. Tough decision. It requires respect and commitment (for both parts).

It never ceases to amaze me how can people want both things. If women want both, they should have them while they’re 23-25 years old, so that by the age of 33, the kid is already 10 and the women can focus in her professional career. By the time they’re 40, they can handle a senior position in a company and the kids are happy in college (or working).

On contrary, having the kids in an older age (from 35 years on), just causes an irrefrenable break in their professional career.

That’s what I am worried about. Having to choose. And it scares me, because at the age of 22, I choose a successful career. I am aware of this trade-off, but that means that if I want kids further in the future, I will screw my professional career up. Because I know I would want to be a good mother.

In case you’re not looking for being successful in your professional career (that doesn’t mean that you don’t love or that you don’t care about your job. It means you’re OK where you’re at, and you’re not looking for promotions), then it’s when it doesn’t matter at what age you have kids.

I have a friend -same age as me- that is worried about not getting pregnant soon, because her biggest dream is to get married and have kids. I tell her to calm down, because as a matter of fact, sooner or later, she’ll give her professional career up to become a good mom. And there’s no expiration date for that. Meanwhile, she can start working, so that she can save up some money to invest it in nice dresses to seduce the man of her dreams.

That’s the topic that worries me today. Or at least, this first hour of the morning. Sitting in the public library, trying to get stuff done. And I keep distracting myself from browsing book spines. God. Why are they so gorgeous.

I am starting to realize that I want people to like me. I wish to be read by many people, who can find useful enough my language, and feeling like they invested well the time they spent reading this blog.

Far from being a girl with strong decisions, I am another mainstream girl, with the only difference that I share what I write.

But that doesn’t make me special.